Things to talk about with your partner if you are getting married!

If you are thinking of getting married soon, there are certain topics that people take for granted (especially my last bullet point), yet, they are things that need to be spoken and figured out prior to making one of the biggest decisions in your life.

One of the first things you can start brainstorming is how much money you want to spend. Think about realistic options that are available for you guys to make this day happen.


1. Decide on a budget, stick to it as much as you can, but keep an open mind!

Budgeting is key. Make a list of things that you know you'd regret if you didn't have at the wedding/and or honeymoon. For instance, a big wedding was a no for us, but if you wish to have one, you should take into consideration that there will be things you'll have to compromise if you have a limited budget.
Budgeting is very important and keeps you on your toes. Sure the bridal TV shows make you dream big, yet you have to choose. Since the very beginning, my husband and i wanted quality and not quantity. We wanted an elegant wedding, but with our loved ones only. That being said, our guest list could not surpass an x number of people, which was not a problem at all. The guest list ended up how we expected, and we loved it!

2. Prioritize! What are the top things you envision? 
After you figure out your budget, now you'll have an idea how much you are able to spend and make a list of must-haves.

For us it was:

1. Elegant venue
2. Professional photography
3. Dream dress and sharp suits for groom and groomsmen
4. Things for our house (furniture and such)
5. A destination honeymoon
6. An elegant, delicious wedding cake
7. Servers instead of catered food
8. Professional florist

We knew we needed to have all of these to have the perfect day, so think about your day and what you MUST have to make it magical.


3. What do you and your spouse want/don't want on that day?
Just because you see it on TV, or someone you know got married and had certain traditions celebrated at their wedding doesn't mean you need to also. The wedding day is meant to be for you both. My husband and I always communicated about everything, from decor to what we were gonna do for the reception. This helped a lot because there were certain things I thought weren't important, such as the cake topper. My husband wanted a porcelain one. Who would've thought? I thought this was super sweet of him to communicate to me. Don't get caught up in vision boards all by yourself, even though social media shows wedding planning as being one sided and "all about the bride."


What we DID:
1. Unity sand
2. Wrote our own vows
3. Small wedding party
4. A porcelain cake topper
5. An alternate guestbook
6. A DIY photo booth.
7. Pastor, DJ and videographers were friends.



What we DID NOT do:
1. First look
2. Garter toss
3. Premarital counseling
4. Traditional ceremony (language and flow of things)
5. Washing of feet. This is weird BTW
6. Selfie after being pronounced
7. A formal rehearsal dinner
8. Ceremony in church building



And more of what we didn't do:
1. Didn't do an engagement party
2. Didn't do formal RSVP's
3. Didn't have a wedding planner--However, I had a few friends taking care of the reception setup, and coordinating with the DJ.


4. Talk about marriage, and not just the wedding day
Think of how you guys are going to raise your kids, day-to-day living, chores, meals, and of course, bills and financial responsibilities. What about your beliefs about certain things, and how these are going to affect your marriage. How does this person like to live? Are you flexible? Are you messy or tidy? Is he or she okay with that? What are some expectations you have in marriage? Etc.

All in all, I think communication will get much better between you guys when you wedding plan, so it is a win win! However, lots of patience and understanding will make this process smooth instead of chaotic. Logic within reason, and be loving to your parter while finances and planning are getting over the moon. Enjoy your engagement as much as you can!


Love,



-KC